Nourishment Without Rules
When it comes to food, it has been drilled into us to think in binaries: healthy vs. unhealthy, clean vs. junk, good vs. bad. But, if you are in recovery from an eating disorder, or simply trying to cultivate a more ‘healthful’ or perhaps neutral relationship with food, then you will know that labelling isn’t just unhelpful but it can be harmful!
The key to healing your relationship with food is to forget everything we have previously been taught! Instead of food being “good” or “bad”, what if we could just view it as “food”? Instead of having rules which drive restriction and compensatory behaviours, what if we could allow ourselves to listen to our bodies, recognise our wants and needs and respond to them calmly and with compassion.
The reason I’ve written this blog is because so often I have clients telling me they can’t eat something because it’s “bad” and my job is to teach that we can listen to and honour our cravings, our wants and needs, whilst also fuelling ourselves with nutrient dense, delicious, enjoyable and satisfying foods!
Cravings Are Cues, Not Problems
First things first: craving chocolate, bread, cheese, chips, or anything else doesn't mean you’ve "fallen off the wagon", becuase there is no wagon. Cravings are part of being human and in recovery, learning how to acknowledge and respond (calmly) to those cravings is not just allowed, it is encouraged and celebrated!
As registered dietitian and eating disorder specialist Christy Harrison writes in Anti-Diet, “Hunger and cravings are not signs of weakness. They’re signs that you’re alive.”
When we respond to cravings with curiosity instead of control, we open the door to both physical and emotional satisfaction.
So what does this actually mean?
You wake up and you’re hungry but, OH NO, you want chocolate!!! However, it has been drilled into for your whole life that you do not, no matter what, eat chocolate for breakfast / until after lunch / [insert food rule here…]. So, how could we do this the recovery way?
You want something warm, cozy, and chocolatey. Perhaps you could make a chocolate porridge that’s both satisfying and nourishing:
🍫 Start with what you want: Stir in some dark chocolate or cocoa powder right into your oats as they cook.
🥛 Use full-fat milk: It adds creaminess, flavour, and is a source of energy and fat that supports hormone health, brain function, satiety and satisfaction. Full-fat dairy may also be protective against certain chronic illnesses, according to research in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.
💪 Add protein: Mix in unflavoured or chocolate-flavoured protein powder for added satiety and to support blood glucose balance and regulation.
🌱 Include seeds: A spoon of chia and / or flax provides fibre, omega-3s, and texture.
🍓 Top with fruit: Add berries for colour, sweetness, and antioxidants. Not because you have to, but because they taste good, you think they would go nicely with the meal and you want something sweet and fresh on top.
This bowl is joyful and balanced. Nothing is restricted. Nothing is “swapped out” or moralised. It’s built on the foundation of ‘gentle nutrition”.
Enjoy your favourite creamy pasta with an added ‘boost’ of spinach and mushrooms.
Gentle Nutrition: Adding, Not Restricting
The Intuitive Eating framework asks: ‘what can I add?’, rather than ‘what should I take away?’.
Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, authors of Intuitive Eating, describe gentle nutrition as “making food choices that honour your health and taste buds while making you feel well.” It's the tenth and final principle in their model, not because it's least important but, because nutrition should come after the work of rejecting diet mentality and reconnecting with your body.
Here are a few meal ideas that layer satisfaction with support:
🧀 Craving cheese on toast?
Use the bread you love and your favourite cheese. Add a slice of tomato, or serve with a side of avocado or greens for freshness, colour , and a boost of fibre.
🍨 Want ice cream?
Enjoy it in a bowl topped with crushed walnuts, granola, or a drizzle of peanut butter. You could even pair it with a baked banana for a warm/cold contrast and some added potassium.
🍓 Fancy something sweet and snacky?
Greek yogurt with a swirl of honey, a handful of granola, dark chocolate chips, and fresh strawberries sound pretty delicious! You’re getting calcium, protein, fibre, fat, and joy, all in one bowl.
🍝 Maybe you want a creamy pasta?
Enjoy it just as you like it. If you feel like it, toss in sautéed mushrooms, spinach, or peas for texture and a micronutrient lift. If not, that's okay too.
This isn’t about sneaking things in or tricking yourself. It’s about being curious: How can I make this meal that satisfies and supports me both mentally and physically that is delicious to eat and gives me joy?
There is no such thing as perfection
Some days, your body might want a simple, nostalgic meal with zero “boosts” and this is absolutely okay!
All foods can have a place in your life. You are allowed to want chocolate. You are allowed to enjoy full-fat milk. You are also allowed to care about nutrition, but not at the expense of your mental wellbeing!
So next time you’re building a meal, instead of asking yourself if you are eating “healthily”, if you “only have good foods” if you have “built your plate right”, try asking yourself:
What do I really want right now?
Does this suit my current level of hunger?
Is there anything I could add that might help me feel more satisfied or nourished?
Is there anything I could add that would make this meal more enjoyable?
Then go from there…
Without judgement.
Without guilt.
With pure, undiluted permission!